Lulu in Wonderland
by Nilie and Kiki
Summary: Thus grew the tale of Wonderland: Thus slowly, one by one, It's quaint events were hammered out. Crack Post R2.


**Disclaimer: **We do not own Code Geass or Alice in Wonderland…. Though we do own cookies.

**Nilie: **Please have some! Actually the reason we did not post this story two years before is probably my own fault, dear readers. I apologise. *bows*

**Warning: **4th wall breaking (KiKi's fault), fangirling (KiKi's fault) and crack (Nilie's fault)

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**Chapter 1 – Down the rabbit hole

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Once upon a time there was a boy, with hair as black as raven feathers, and eyes, violet like amethyst. He had a sister - sweet and cute to the Nth degree. She was his treasure. Sadly, his dear sister was also blind, and as if that wasn't bad enough, fate had it so she was to be confined in a wheelchair for the rest of her life.

Despite such disabilities, her position in her brother's heart never changed. In fact, this author (author K) was fairly certain that at the very back of the very protective brother's mind, hidden under lock and key, was a boy inwardly rejoicing because it meant his sister could never run away from him and elope with whoever was the bastard that would manage to steal his heart. Yes, _his_ heart! Not his dear sister's because his sister was his and his alone.

As it was, the boy, Lelouch Lamperouge, was lounging under a tree, his head on his dear sweet sister's lap and his body cushioned by grass, soft and fresh. His beloved sister, Nunnally, touched his face tenderly, fingers tracing his jaw-line, cheek, nose and feathered over his eyelids like she was engraving each features, pores and - heaven forbid - wrinkle in her memory forever.

"Onii-sama, what is that sound?" she asked, voice lilting and musical to his ears. Somewhere at her ankles, Arthur the cat meowed lazily, tail flicking and swatting at imaginary flies.

Lelouch reluctantly cracked open an eyelid and lifted his head enough to see a white rabbit loping down the path in a hurried manner.

"It's only a rabbit." he answered his sister and laid his head back down on Nunnally's knees.

"And it's a talking rabbit?"

"Yes, it's talking," Lelouch murmured then picked his head back up in confusion. "Talking?"

The rabbit bounced along, white uniformed and gasping at his pocket-watch before scrabbling his own brown hair with his hands, howling at how late he was.

Brown... hair?

Lelouch choked on air and spluttered in disbelief, "Suzaku..."

"Suzaku?" Nunnally echoed.

Lelouch rubbed his eyes.

"I'm late! I'm late! Oh, it must be fate!" Suzaku the rabbit cried whilst shaking his pocket-watch like that could persuade the hands of time turn back. He pulled at his long white rabbit ears protruding out of his hair and ran around on the spot in panic allowing Lelouch to catch sight of a white fluffy rabbit tail decorating the back of his uniform.

"Hello, Suzaku." Nunnally greeted pleasantly.

"Hello! Goodbye! It really is time to fly!" Suzaku rhymed off and ran for a rabbit hole.

Lelouch concluded that he was dreaming and inwardly cursed Suzaku, for it seemed that even in his dreams, the knight still disturbed his alone times with Nunnally.

Yes, surely, all this had to be dream. In fact, Lelouch was starting to remember that he just died from a very life-threatening stab of a sword in the chest and he should be lying somewhere being trampled by an angry mob waiting for the code to kick in or C.C. to rescue him – whichever came first.

He dropped his head into Nunnally's lap once more and sighed contently as she petted his hair. The code and C.C. could take their time because he was more than happy to spend eternity in this carefree world of sunshine, birdsongs, and rainbows with his sweet darling little sister.

"Onii-sama?"

"Hm?"

"Can I have a pet rabbit?"

And have it nibble on Nunnally's precious hands? Absolutely not!

"Nunnally... rabbits are..." He started, hoping to gently convince her that all she needed was her onii-sama and that rabbits were a definite no-no. Her bottom lip quivered right then and he melted like mush on the spot. "Of course, Nunnally, I shall go catch Suzaku right away."

In his mind, he argued that he had made her cry in real-life so the least he could do was satisfy all her needs in his dreams. So he chased after Suzaku the white rabbit, all the while having a niggling feeling that he had read about late-running white rabbits and rabbit holes somewhere before...

"Suzaku! Wait!"

Suzaku turned his head, limbs still energetically running forward, "Lelouch?"

"Wait!"

"Wait? Oh no - very no - for I really must go." Suzaku rhymed and dove straight into a rabbit hole like an Olympic diver – there was even that tuck, somersault and corkscrew effect!

"Oh bothersome," Lelouch panted as he peered down the dark tunnel. "I lost him."

"Onii-sama, my rabbit? Where is he?" Nunnally called from behind him.

Wait... behind him?

Lelouch turned around in time to see his sister zooming down the hill in her wheelchair like a bullet.

"Nunnally!" he managed to cry before he realised he was right in the path of bullet Nunnally whose momentum was increasing by the nano-second and was showing no sign of slowing down whatsoever. He moved to dodge to one side but Arthur the pesky cat somehow appeared at his feet at that very moment and Lelouch stumbled ungracefully forward.

"Onii-sama!" was the last thing Lelouch heard before bullet Nunnally crashed right into him and his vision was enveloped with darkness as he fell right into the giant rabbit hole Suzaku had disappeared down, seconds prior.

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The trip down the rabbit hole took ages. Yes, aaages!

Lelouch spent the first ten minutes screaming and clawing at the air for something to stop his fall, the next ten to voice out his will hoping that saying it out aloud would suffice since he presently didn't have anything to write it on, the ten minutes after that were for editing his will and changing around some items, and the next half hour he just spent simply staring further down the hole, waiting for his painfully slow death to meet him.

He didn't meet the ground until maybe... an hour later? By which time he was getting impatient and checking his watch every minute before finally realising that Author K must have dozed off somewhere.

"Can we get on with the story?" He asked loudly, breaking the fourth wall and Author K's snot bubble while he was at it.

"Huh? Wha? Oh... story..." The author mumbled and Lelouch could finally see the ground.

It was time for his 'beautiful-death-speech' so he flipped to his back mid-air, half lidded his eyes, unbuttoned the top of his shirt for extra fanservice and allowed his hair to blow up about his face because bishounens meeting their demise in this fashion are bound to attract fangirls' attention and thus more hits on this story...

In fact, the scene was so attractive that Author K was drooling and Author N rolled her eyes before snapping her fingers.

FWOOOMPH!!

Lelouch spluttered as he landed in a giant mountain of fresh, colourful marshmallows.

"Marshmallows?!" he cried indignantly alongside Author K who shook the other author violently for ruining her beautiful bishi-ful scene. ("But it was screaming for a crack point!" Author N argued.)

"I'm late! I'm so late! Her majesty will be so full of hate!" Suzaku cried, appearing from nowhere and running around in circles.

"Suzaku!" And Lelouch was after the rabbit again.

"Hello Lelouch, I would love to stop for tea, but I simply must flee." The knight continued to rhyme and fled he did, down the corridor and through a tiny door.

Confused, and deciding this dream was already strange enough as it was, Lelouch contemplated staying right where he was and not chasing after the rabbit. He eyed the tiny door, kneeling down and peering at curiously. How in Britannia did Suzaku manage to fit through a two inches height door?

"Ara, by shrinking himself of course," a voice explained somewhere high above.

The boy peered up and spotted a shelf. A pair of gold eyes stared back at him before slowly, a girlish figure pulled herself from the shadows.

And there the Cheshire Cat stood, a sixteen year old girl with brilliant green hair, gold eyes and a pink and purple striped outfit. A pink and purple striped tail swished lazily behind her and her cat ears twitched with amusement.

"C.C.?!" Lelouch gaped, silently wondering if it was legal for a girl to expose this much bare stomach skin and wear shorts as short as those.

"Hmm?" C.C. purred as she settled to sit on her shelf. "I'm the Cheshire Cat but yes, you can call me C.C. for short."

She kicked her feet experimentally, pink and purple high heeled boots clicking together as she did so. It was then that Lelouch noticed that her cat outfit was like that white one she constantly wore under her black dress but with all the colours changed to suit the Cheshire Cat theme.

"Lewis Carroll?" C.C.'s voice noted with amusement and peered at her surroundings, "I have always believed he based the cat after me." She twisted her head around and watched as she curled and uncurled her tail, testing its movements and sensitivity. "Pink and purple - he never could get my favourite colours right."

"What are you doing here?" Lelouch demanded.

The witch rested her palms at the edge of her shelf, legs still swinging, leant forward and tilted her face up in thought. "I wouldn't know. It's _your_ dream after all. What do you want me to do here?"

And because the authors couldn't resist it, they built an audience box (opera glasses were a must) and started screaming suggestions at the poor ex-prince just exactly what they thought he should do with the Cheshire Cat.

"Kiss her!" "Smooch her!" "Marry her!" "Make babies!!"

"I want you to..." he started and the authors leant so dangerously forward they nearly toppled out of their box.

"I want you to..." Lelouch repeated.

...

"Help me catch a pet rabbit for Nunnally."

Cue havoc from the audience box that was mostly ignored by the rest.

"For Nunnally?" C.C. asked, an eyebrow raised. She was dressed so saucily and he was still not tempted? My, his loli-con was worst than she originally had thought. Nevertheless, she tossed down a bottle of orange juice.

Lelouch examined the juice suspiciously, fingers tracing the label saying 'DRINK ME'. "What is-" he started to ask but when he looked up, the shelf and the Cheshire Cat was gone.

Thus Lelouch was faced with another predicament. Should he drink it? Or not? It was a requirement that he drink it, in order to capture that pet rabbit for his dear Nunnally, but then... this was C.C. we were talking about, it would most likely turn out be poisonous, or something.

What a dilemma:

To drink or not to drink?

To drink or not to drink?

To drink or...

"Oh just get on with the story." C.C. muttered, appearing from nowhere. She caught the boy in a headlock and chugged the entire bottle of juice down his throat. He spluttered in her arms and she rolled her eyes, "I'm shrinking you to Thumbelina size which will effectively give you perfect views up girls' skirts and you're still resisting? Do you know how many Kallen, Milly, Shirley or Anya fanboys would trade their arms just for this?"

He coughed and gagged at her forceful feeding. She patted his hair like a mother would do to a good little boy. "Now, that wasn't so bad was it?"

And he blinked up at her, vision swimming slightly as she slowly disappeared into thin air, starting from her tail and ending with her grin which hung in the air for an annoyingly long time.

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END OF CHAPTER ONE

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**Har har, cliffie! Reviews always encourage us to update sooner.**

***runs away before rotten tomatoes are thrown at us***

**Nilie & KiKi**


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